There is so much division between skin colour here. I can’t really tell you real situations that are happening or my thoughts… But I can tell you what I see in the form of stories.
The Story of The Avocardo Tree
Once a upon a time there was an avocado tree that grew so many avos that it was nearly impossible to eat them all. When it was really windy avos would drop into garden & the owner, Mr. Avo, liked that because he didn’t need to get a ladder to pick them!
Mr Avo was kind. When it was windy not only did avos fall in his garden but also into Mrs. Neighbour’s garden next door & Mr. Avo was pleased Mrs. Neighbour could also enjoy then. Mrs Neighbour of course didn’t complain about avos falling all over her garden because she could eat them for free instead of buying them!
One day Mrs. Neighbour saw Mr. Gardener going behind the tool shed & then coming back round to enter the shed a couple times. She wondered what he was doing so when she could she went to have a look. Mrs. Neighbour was very angry to discover Mr. Gardener had collected the avos from behind the shed & piled them up.
As soon as Mr. Neighbour, her husband, came home that day she complained to him that Mr. Gardener was stealing her avos. Mr. Neighbour told Mrs. Neighbour he told Mr. Gardener to take the ones that fell behind the shed. Mrs. Neighbour was quite displeased with this.
The Story of the Toilet Paper
Mrs. Braai & her friends were discussing how much they pay their help & gardeners. Mrs. Braai told them she pays her help & gardener R100 (£5) a day because any more encourages them to waste it on alcohol & drugs.
A little further into the conversation Mrs. Braai complained that she often found little things like toilet paper, salt & paper went missing.
Mrs. Braai said to her friends, “If they (her help & gardener) were taking bigger things I would say something. But they are just little things & so I just turn a blind eye because they obviously need it.”
The Story of the Shack
This past winter Mrs. Warm complained a lot about it being cold in her house. Every day she would have a fire & every night her would turn on the electric blanket on her bed.
Mrs. Warm’s help & gardener lived in her garden in a wooden shack that had holes in the roof & walls.
The Story of the Shop Keeper, the Fair Maiden & the Chimney Sweeper
There once was a Shop Keeper who hired a Fair Maiden to help around his shop. It wasn’t longer before this Fair Maiden fell in love with the Chimney Sweeper. The shop owner advised the Fair Maiden & the Chimney Sweeper to become friends before pursuing a deeper friendship.
Sadly the Shop Owner shortly died & his Brother took over the shop. The Brother was deeply unhappy with the arrangement the between the Fair Maiden & the Chimney Sweeper. However even though the Shop Owner died the Fair Maiden & Chimney Sweeper held onto his advice.
Time passed soon it became time for the Fair Maiden & Chimney Sweeper to ask the village for permission to marry. Upon hearing the request, the Brother decided he simply could not sit by & watch this go ahead. He took the Fair Maiden aside & told her, “Fair Maiden please do not go ahead with this is marriage. Those who come from a Chimney Sweeper background are the kind to find other Fair Maidens & marry them also.”
Note: These stories are not to fuel fire. These are simply stories to help a white girl from the UK, who studied Social Work, process situations that culturally are so different to her own.
I’ve been wanting to blog again for so long however every time I think about it I follow the thought with excuses. Either I don’t have anything to say or I have too much incriminating evidence about myself. That’s right, “Miss Lay It All Out” has secrets.
Let me tell you a secret that isn’t actually a secret, alongside being a missionary in South Africa serving God, every day I daylight as the lead actress in a story called The Prince & The Toad.
I actually called someone a toad today without meaning too. Thankfully she – OMG I called a girl a toad – knows me well enought to know my jokes sometimes get all muddled up in meaning.
But that isn’t the story for today.
Today I won. Today I yet again got accused of something. I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of the accusations. I’m tired that in my one sided limited understanding it seems others don’t do their jobs & I get blamed for it. I’m tired of the lack of questions. I’m tired of the ignorance. I’m tired. Tired. Tired.
So I pulled out the emails from our previous conversations. I pointed out HIS mistakes. I showed him HE failed. I refused to back down. Because this time I’m clearing my name & will do whatever it takes to PROVE what he was saying to me was ignorant, unjust & inaccurate. I got the outcome I wanted. I showed him.
But… but… he goes & admits to me & others he made a mistake. He apologised. He acknowledged what could have been done differently. Damn it he even humbled himself.
I may have got the outcome I wanted but now I feel like a toad.
I knew I could respond in love, kindness, gentleness, patience & with grace. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to believe those things have power. They’re too slow. I want to change things now. Immediately. Even if I risk relationships…. actually no. I didn’t let my thinking go there, thinking about risking relationships, because I just wanted to be right. It wasn’t about wanting to clear my name – I could have done that with no words but simply just forward our previous emails. Nope, it would seem I just wanted to selfishly win a battle. I wanted to be Queen of the pond.
The only upside to all this is whilst I’m kissing other toads – meet my toad friends: anger toad, selfishness toad, pride toad & fear toad – Jesus is loving my heart.