1. Follow them everywhere around the house.
2. When they say your name: “moo” like a cow.
3. Sing really loudly through the toilet door when they are using the toilet.
4. Pretend you have amnesia.
5. Say everything backwards.
6. Complain that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at 4am and loudly say; “Good morning Sunshine!!”
8. Snort loudly when you laugh; then laugh harder.
9. Run into walls.
10. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
11. Pluck someone’s hair and yell at the top of your voice: “DNA!!!!!!!!”
12. Talk to a pen. For example: “Oh you write so lovely. Yes you do! Oh yes you do!!”
13. In public yell: “NO MUM I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!!”
14. Switch the light button on and off whilst yelling: “Oh I get it!!!!”
15. Try to climb the wall.
16. Hold their hand and whisper: “I see dead people.”
17. Eat your hair.
18. At everything they say yell: “LIAR!!!!”
19. When you take a shower yell: “I’M DROWNING!! I’M DROWNING!!”
20. Tap on their door all night long whilst saying: “Help me. Help me. Help me.”
21. Talk to the pople on the TV adverts about your problems.
Sometimes I wonder how I will react to something. A situation. A person. One of those “what happens if this happens with this person” or “what will happen in this situation” type of thing. Then it happens, the situation, with or without the people you envision it to include… and you react. Only, when you get to that point you realise your thoughts were spent wondering 1. if you would react; 2. how you would react; 3. would the situation happen or not, and 4. will it happen with that person or not… And you didn’t spend any time thinking through how to interpret your reaction. So then you find yourself, having already reacted to the situation, and a bit clueless as to what it means for YOU.
And so my train wreck of a trail of thought continued. Trying to process the information that had landed on my plate. Unwanted. But inevitable. I found myself thinking about how their decisions don’t match up with the calling God has on their lives; and I began thinking “I’m so glad I have more freedom in my life in these areas than I ever did before.” On one hand I felt relief, on the other I felt smugness. And everywhere in between I felt joy, disappointment, pride, thankfulness, grace, heaviness, desire… both negative and positive… As well as many other thoughts and feelings.
Where’s the line between being proud and being prideful? Where’s the line between relief and smugness? Where’s the line between thankfulness and arrogance? Where’s the line between giving glory to God and giving glory to self? Actually, what do those things even look like? Sometimes it’s not even clear or obvious at all!
I don’t think it’s wrong to be pleased at our accomplishments or at our discipline or at our obedience etc. But I was keen to hear from God where He thinks the line is with this stuff. Tonight I was watching House and Chase had a bachelor party. Woohhhooo!!! And I’ll be the first to hold my hand up and say I found that scene just so funny. But I also realised as I was watching it I found myself saying “Wow, I really miss some of that life style.” And it was at that point that I realise the line between all of these things is “believing” in yourself and KNOWING you need God. If I’m willing to put my hand up and say I thought that fictional storyline was funny… then I have to be honest enough to be real and say I am just one step away from all that is wrong in the world. And most times, I am just that.