Last night I read this article about “How Guys Really Feel About Sex With Virgins.” And I have to say I came away feeling a bit disappointed. I mean, the article was in the Daily Mail and referred me to a site called “Jezebel.Com” So to be fair it was a bit of a hint for a disappointing article! But like Pandora’s Box the article got me thinking and before I knew it I started peeling the onion layers of my brain.
Here’s what I eventually worked out that was disappointing me. Firstly, many guys don’t think virginity is a big deal. Secondly, many other guys think virginity is a big deal. Now why are BOTH those things a disappointment? Because of the attitudes and motivation behind them. Let me explain.
Why is virginity a big deal? Oh heck, I’m not “qualified” to give this answer… and if I did answer this, how much time do you have for me to explain this whole concept of virginity and its true identity. Today I’m not actually going to answer this one. I think most of us have some sort of understanding why virginity can be a big deal to others. Today I want to focus on the second part of my disappointment.
For many many many people someone’s virginity is very important. As a Christian we’re not suppose to have sex before marriage because of what it represents. Now if you understood what it represented you would understand why it’s such a big deal and since I’m not explaining that part today (of why it’s such a big deal) you’re just going to have to trust me. What virginity represents IS a big deal.
I have heard many people say they’re virgins and waiting for the right person. I think these decisions are personal. Between you and God. And I find anyone making these decisions incredibly admirable. In this day and age where sex is no big deal according to Western society… I think it’s great that people feel they can go against the pressure to follow what everyone else is doing. But here’s where I start to have a problem. Of course when you wait for someone… even to the point of reserving your first kiss for the one you think might be your life long partner… you would hope they did the same. “I waited for you“. There’s a lot of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical energy going into waiting. And what an achievement and amazing experience it will be to get to your wedding night knowing you waited. But what if he or she didn’t wait? What if you are not his or her first one? I do understand the complications of these things. I get it why it’d be complex of marrying someone who didn’t wait. But what I’ve heard in my conversations with some people, is an attitude of self-righteousness that is actually… hate to say it… comes across as condemnation.
I have no doubt… absolutely no doubt that God honors those who love and obey Him. I honestly believe that if one waits God will bless him or her. I don’t know what kind of blessings they are but I just know He would. But allow me to say something… God told us to love one another as God loves the church. The body of Christ is broken, screwed up, delusional, sinful, negative and just…yuck. But God still loves us all. And continually He challenges us to do the same. Let me hold it there and bring another thread of thought into this…
God’s forgiven me for everything… my past, my present and my future. Everything I have ever done, am doing and will do. The bible is clear that through Jesus every tiny fragment of sin is washed away. Now, dad and I were recently discussing Laura and I going out for her birthday and he made a comment about me getting drunk. The way the comment was phrased made it a worthless comment. It wasn’t positive, it wasn’t uplifting, it wasn’t anything. In fact it got to me that much that I turned to him and said “Why are you talking shit?” … Which of course then turned the focus of the topic. Oh deeear… I’m still learning. But later when he and I talked about it I explained to him, “Dad, that comment did nothing. It didn’t achieve anything. There was nothing positive. It was just a worthless comment.” Now it did achieve something, it achieved a strong sence of condemnation. It has been years since I was in that place of going out and getting drunk all the time. But in dad’s mind, he still held me in a place where I was no longer there and actually, the seriousness of it was he preventing me from moving forward. Even after all of this time.
Throughout my social work training we were constantly reminded that disabilities don’t isolate people from society, people do. Their attitudes towards people who have disabilities. Let me give you an example, just this past week I watched a TV show where a disabled lady gave birth to a healthy child and the midwife asked her who was going to look after the baby. The lady replied, “ME of course.” People somehow think that physically disabilities and mental disabilities go hand in hand. It’s true they often do but a person is not automatically mentally disabled just because they are physically disabled. And visa versa. The relevance of this illustartion being, she WAS able to care for her child but we assume too much.
Whether we realise it or not, we hold people in a place where they are not supposed to be. Really think about this and be honest to yourself because at the end of the day… you don’t want to be doing that to those around you. Not when you’re trying to demonstrate the love of God to them.
Let’s go back to the virginity topic. For all of those who made the decision to not wait, and then got serious about God and decided to wait. I have equal respect for you as I do for those who waited in the first place. I find it so admirable that you would mentally, physically, motionally and spiritually fight against learnt behaviour, addiction, “cravings” and not give in.
I understand that my future husband has a story. I understand there are things that I may not like or will find hard. But I know that if he is who God thinks I should marry… then everything will fall into place. Let me put this another way… it does not matter if you have a squeaky clean story or one that has more adventures than Indiana Jones… unless the two of you are walking with God… then to put it bluntly… welcome to hell-hood. The only way a marriage works is if God is in the picture.
I’m not underpaying anyone’s desire to marry a virgin and I’m not advocating to rush out and do a Hosea by marrying a prostitute. What am I saying is don’t fear missing out on God’s blessings. Don’t fear someone with a story… because you too have one. Don’t let your attitude towards your achievements become attitudes of condemnation towards others. And most importantly, don’t hold each other in a place that they are no longer in. I know it’s hard to not look at someone and see their flaws… but I challenge you to challenge yourself on this. I’m learning a lot about all this too. The moral of the story is basically this, the fundamental truth of Jesus is if you walk with Him, He will bless you. And in regards to this topic… With WHOEVER that is 🙂
Can I just say, insomnia sucks. So I’ve decided to kill time by blogging my random thoughts.
Let me start with this. Dad has always said he was an “all or nothing kinda guy.” I’ve always tried to tell him that doesn’t need to be the case. He is capable of finding a middle ground between the two. Now I think it’s just plain critical he learns this. Today he found out we’re using far too much heating… so he’s turned it OFF. Now I’m thinking that when I wake up tomorrow morning I’ll be able to see my breath. I even considered starting a sign up on my Facebook status to see who would be kind enough to share their body heat with me. Job description, “Pretend to be a teddy bear.”
This brings me to discuss my intense desire to jump around my room and try to breakdance at night. How did I get there from talking about heating? Well, dancing keeps you warm right? Quite logical trail of thought actually. But no, no… I took a different route of thinking. I thought “Teddy”, then “Teddy Bear’s Picnic”, then “music”, then dancing. I don’t know why but I’ve always struggled with my sleeping patterns… Often I find myself getting to the point of the only way I’m able to sleep is to pass out from exhaustion. So you can imagine my frustration that I seem to get a second wind in the evening and suddenly have all this energy. So of course I’m trying to think of all the things I can do at 11.30pm to get rid of this energy. And the only thing I can think of is to jump around my room and attempt to breakdance! The only problem is I just KNOW dad’s gonna come storming downstairs all like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Epic fail.
Talking about epic fails. I haven’t done anything too stupid today… in fact I think it’s been a relatively embaressment-free week. Coming to think about it… I can’t really think of the last stupid thing I did…
I played pool last night and was like “awwww I wish I had a pool table.” I need to find a friend who has one and hang out with them. Not cos they have a pool table. I’m not that abusive of friendships. I want to hang out with them because I value them (and the fact that they let me hangout with them and their pool table :P). Laura finished her exams yesterday so we went for a quiet drink in the afternoon. And we did, we had coca cola! We were with Cody who informed us that he hoped to see a mutual friend of ours so he could throw his Greggs at him. Did I say the mutual friend is in the police who would have been working when the hypothetical flying Geggs incident happened? Excellent! :S Maybe writing about someone thinking of “assaulting” a police officer is a crime. Oh well, SOMEHOW I’ll end up in trouble over this whether Cody chucks a Greggs or not. I might need to start working on my sprints to run away from our police friend 😛
My room smells of sour strawberry laces. I gotta stop eating them!! Tonight I watched this programme about parents spying on their kids whilst on holiday and it got me thinking how TV produce shows like that when there’s a lot of deceit involved. Isn’t the one of the major ethical issues to avoid? I’m quite looking forward to working and being paid to work.
Alright… that’s enough for now!
So continuing on from my original post about the Road Trip I went on… here’s part two!
I arrived at my cousin’s house late… took something like an hour and a half longer than it should have. Making my road trip from Toowoomba to Bundaberg something like 7 and a half hours long. Thankfully they were so nice and waited for me to show up before digging into the BBQ they’d prepared! Oopsieeee 😛 The next day, Tuesday the 20th was pretty chillaxed just hanging out with the cousins and so was the Wednesday. Actually having said that Matt badly burnt his hand and I don’t know what pain killers he took but he was off his face!! LOL! On Wednesday night however I decided to stay with my auntie who was living near by to my cousin’s place. Auntie Paula and my cousins Matt and Dan had moved in with Auntie Judy and her son Isaac… and Auntie Judy’s daughter Sarah and Sarah’s boyfriend came to stay a few days so it was a full house!!
Wednesday night was really where the start of a long list of ridiculous adventures started. We all played a round in the pool, it’s still warm all night long to jump in the pool, and made whirlpools and tried to wrestle each other off our “partners” shoulders. I find it creepy when someone grabs my feet in a swimming pool so of course Matt constantly tried to grab my feet. After the pool we watched “Tomorrow When The War Began” and just as we were rounding up the evening to had to bed Auntie Paula told us “We have no toilet paper, no tissues, no nothing to wipe our butts.” So Dan, Matt and I jumped in the car and went trooping around the streets at 1am to find a petrol station that was still open and selling toilet paper.
Thankfully the only open petrol station was indeed selling toilet paper. Dan parked the car and went to buy some. Since it was late he had to go to the little counter outside and not go inside. So he asks for toilet paper and tries to pay on his mum’s card which was declined. But as the transaction was being authorised (before it was declined) the lady was trying to shove the toilet paper through the tiniest little hole at the counter. Dan was like “Mate, you’re going to have to open th doors and let me come in!” … Hmmm dodgy. So then the card gets declined and he comes back to the car and get’s another one of his mum’s cards but this time the pin isn’t working. The service lady looked at him and asked “Is this your card?” and Dan’s like “No it’s my mum’s” and she’s all like “Well you’re going to have to call her and get the pin.” And Dan goes “I don’t have a phone.” So she just looks at him like “I’m not sure I’m believing anything your saying” and slowly slides the card back across the counter with one finger and not takin her eyes off him. AWKWARD. So Dan gets back in the car and is like “Let’s get out of here before the cops come.” I’m like, “Guys I have cash drop me off, park somewhere she wont see you and I’ll get the toilet paper.” Ironically we were all needing the toilet at this point and so no toilet paper really wasn’t an option! But Dan was like “Nah! I’ve got nothing to hide” So he drives literally right up to the window and left just enough room for me to squeeze out and stand at the counter. How’s that for making a statement :S Haha. Did I mention that Dan is 17 and Matt is 18? We eventually got the toilet paper.
Thursday we decided to head on up to Agnes Waters to visit one of our cousin’s Alyce. Agnes is right next to Town of 1770 where Captain Cook first landed. It’s a super small town and in many respects under developed in terms of tourism which I personally think is great because you still get a good feel for the landscape and what it must have been like when Captain Cook first arrived there. Anyways the trip was about an hour and a half and mainly on what we would call “country roads.” I have to confess I was quite naughty and was doing 140km in a 100km zone and I shot past a cop car. Argh!! I didn’t get caught but I did learn my lesson! When we arrived Alyce had this epic Chinese meal for us!! And the best part of it was we chilled out eating it on the kitchen floor! I love it how we’re all older now, have our own places and can just hang out like this. I love the aunties and uncles but it’s just different to hang out with just the cousins.
When I was 9 and Alyce was 7 I told her this scary China Doll story and since she had about 50 dolls at that time I seriously traumatized both of us LOL. Auntie Judy, her mum, found out about this story and lined up three of the biggest dolls with knives in the bedroom so that when we walked in we got a super big fright. It was pretty hilarious and it’s been a running joke between us. Anyways, after dinner Alyce showed us a doll that had GREEN eyes!! Needless to say we all knew that doll would be a prank item for the next few days. After chatting for a while we snuck in to a nearby pool and went swimming but once the rain came in there was a bit of a 10pm chill and we all got super cold. We quickly drove back to Alyce’s fighting the whole way as to who’s going in the shower first to warm up… So we resolved it by jumping in there all together!
That night Matt and I were sharing the share room and Dan was sleeping on a blow up bed in the kitchen and I said “Matt!! We have to ge the doll and put it on the bed next to Dan!” So Matt put the doll next to Dan and ran back in the room. Dan not long after rolled over, saw the doll and was like “Screw this I’m not sleeping next to that thing” and put it in the FRIDGE! The next morning Alyce found the doll and moved it to the bathroom with a knife in its hand. Dan woke up and was all like “Alyce, did you find the doll?” and Alyce pretended she didn’t know what he was talking about which freaked Dan out a little. Dan, Matt and I all found the doll on separate occasions when we walked into the bathroom giving us all a bit of a shock haha.
After the whole doll pranking we chilled and then went for a walk. The look out was really nice but the climb down the cliff wasn’t haha. I broke my shoes :S Gutted. The rain started coming in again so we headed back to Alyce’s. We talked for quite while about Mike and I share our story which they didn’t know the details of. Since we were driving back to Bundaberg that afternoon we headed off around 5.30pm but got as far as the corner of her street because we stopped for food. Matt, Dan and I sat eating chips for about an hour and as we did the sky got darker and rain got heavier. Eventually at 7pm I was like “We have to go.” I’ve never driven in tropical rain before and I was really struggling to see through the night’s darkness and rain. I looked at the boys and went “Guys, are you ok if this takes us 3 hours to get back cos I aint going above 40km!” Even at 40 kph I could feel my back wheels slide out a couple of times. The rain was so heavy it looked like the road was a shallow river. I ran over about a hundred frogs, a possum and what we think was a giant rat. It’s not like I could have avoided it because any sort of breaking on that road could have been more dangerous!! It was all a bit intense haha.
After about an hour of driving on the super bumpy road I pulled over and said “Boys, I desperately need to pee” and jumped out the car. Now if you know me I would never do that unless it was to the point of peeing myself. I find it trippy to pee “in front” of people like this. But I didn’t trust the boys so I walked to the back of the car and then to the backdoor, opened it, pointed my figure at them and yelled “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT LOOKING AT ME!” It felt like the longest wee ever and when I got back in the car Dan said “I was so tempted to get in the driver’s seat and drive off leaving your white butt in the review mirror.” I’m so glad they didn’t.
What should have taken about 90 minutes to drive took about 2 and a half hours by the time we pulled into the drive way of Auntie Judy’s. We walked in the door and Auntie Judy came racing through the house towards us in a panicked voice “Boys your mother has been rushed to hospital she’s sliced her hand open or something when she was cutting food.” So we jumped back into the car, this time Auntie Paula’s car, and Dan drove us to the hospital. On the way he pulled into a petrol station to buy flowers but bought a teddy instead. He pulled out the service station and because he was completely distracted he ran a red light. Now, there is not a single car on this entire looooooong stretch of road apart from a cop car that was trying to do a U-Turn at that same junction that we just ran. So of course, the lights and siren go on and we get pulled over…
Part Three Coming Soon!!!
Today I set out to do 21 things in honor of Mike’s 21st birthday. This is what I achieved… 😛
1- Made a list of the 21 things.
2- Promoted the Michael Knight Trust.
3- Wore my new top.
4- Talked to 9 people on Skype/FB/Phone.
5- Attempted to track down my sister.
6- Listened to HipHope/R&B from 1991 & decided I was born in the wrong year.
7- Went for a walk.
8- Met up with my sister.
9- Took her on a date to Starbucks.
10- Made people smile & laugh.
11- Experienced crazy generosity.
12- Witnessed a miracle.
13- Painted my nails & then with a paint brush wrote M on one and K on the other.
14- Ate dinner with my family, we had chicken in honor of the time I told Mike he was eating chicken boobies.
15- Played Beans as a family.
16- Took photos.
17- Made cookies with my sister.
18- Watched One Born Every Minute with my sister.
19- “Pranked” Dan with my sister.
20- Attempted to clean my room, it got as far as thinking about cleaning my room.
21- Updated my blog 😀 Ta-Da!!!!
So I went on a road trip to visit the family. It started on Saturday the 17th of December and I drove from Springwood to Toowoomba. The journey door to door was about 160km (100 miles) and took about two and a half hours. Part of the reason for that was I stopped off near Gatton to visit the “Big Red Elephant“… a person family tradition… and the other reason was because I kinda got lost. Oh and I went down a one way street the WRONG way! The one and only time Google map failed me. Not the one way street bit, just getting me lost in general. Whilst I was in Australia I didn’t have a GPS and did all my driving by checking out google map on the laptop before the journey, writing down the instructions and memorizing the roads. After about five calls to my Nana I made it to hers!
For most of us we will remember the January floods that happened in Queensland last year. Three quarters of the entire state were under water. Which is the equivalent of France, Germany and Spain being completely underwater. Here’s a photo of the Big Red Elephant when I went and check out this YouTube video that was taken during the floods. Quite bizarre!!!
I had a really lovely time in Toowomba. Saturday evening was spent talking to Nana and we watched a movie based on the book of Genesis which was quite interesting! The next day I spent part of the morning until midafternoon with my cousin Elisha, her husband and four kids. It’s always so nice to get to know my family a little more. It’s hard being so far away from them so there’s a lot I’ve missed out on or don’t know about their lives. That afternoon and evening I spent with my Auntie Mindy and her husband John. Auntie Mindy lives on a 3 acre piece of land and she’s in the middle of landscaping it all. I couldn’t get over how much she knew about plants! Oh and she also showed me a blue tongue lizard that had died a few days before from eating rat poisoning. Lovely! The drive back to Nana’s was really beautiful. We had to drive part of the way across the range and the stars could be seen so clearly. I hadn’t seen that many stars since the voyage to the Caribbean. It was a pity I didn’t stop and enjoy it for a while!
On Monday the 19th I was supposed to be on the road by 11am however when Nana and I went to check my tires that morning we found ourselves sitting in a garage waiting to be told the verdict on my apparent flat tire. When we checked them they were slightly low so we pumped them up but I wasn’t convinced about a “groove” in the front right wheel. So we checked it again and it’d gone done quite dramatically according to the pump. The manager was so nice at the garage and when he told us my wheel was fine he also told us that the costs for checking was on the house and to have a nice Christmas. So I finally hit the road to head up to Bundaberg around 12pm.
According to Google the journey was about 410km (255 miles) and since this was the longest drive I’ve ever done on my own, approximately 5 hours long, I decided to break up the journey. I was supposed to stop off at Moffetdale on the north side of Lake Barambah to check out the lake but once I started passing the south side of the lake it didn’t look too exciting and so I decided to just carry on to Goomeri and check out the “Cheese World” there. Apparently it was a tourist spot…
By the time I hit Goomeri I’d been on the road for about 3 and a half hours. A cappuccino and a sausage roll was more than necessary! So far I’d been passing through country towns and so civilisation didn’t seem to far away yet. However I was starting to come onto the parts of the highway where the towns got smaller and smaller and further and further apart. Most of the country towns felt as though you had step back in time a little! Here are some of the photos that I took at Goomeri! P.S. Goomeri is pronounced “goo-merry” and not “goo-mer-eee-nee” like I kept saying it 😛 The double “oo” makes almost a “ewwww” sound. Check out the “main street” in the last two of these three pictures!
Once I left Goomeri and kept heading north it very quickly became a road with a random house dotted here and there. It’s hard to describe the scenery. You often find yourself driving through flat lands with mountains in the horizon around you… almost like a circle. And then, you drive up over and through the mountains which are covered with trees and fairly rocky in places. Either way it’s really beautiful and before I knew it I’d arrived at Childers… about 40 minutes away from Bundaberg.
The last leg of the journey took twice as long as it should have. I ignored google map and tried being clever. Backfired… and I ended up getting to my cousin’s about 7.30pm. An hour and a half later than what I said it would take me to get from Toowomba with two stops!
Part two coming up… Keep and eye out for it! It’s hilarious!