Can’t believe it was only two days ago that I last wrote on here. It feels like so much longer.
Well, as always it feels like it’s been a topsy turvy 48 hours. Lots of tears over my driving haha. Do you know, I started my morning by crying…now that’s disturbing! LOL! I actually have to laugh at this because this isn’t like me to get upset over something, and especially not something like this. After a lot of talking and some “investigation” I’ve decided to change the date of my test. The big dilemma prior to this evening regarding this was I didn’t feel ready to take it, but knew if I rescheduled then the next avaliable date would be the 24th of July and should I fail the first time I wouldn’t have enough time before Australia to do it again. Well what do you know, maybe God met me in the middle because a date between now and the 24th of July has come up. So I took it. This now means I have an additional 18 days to practice AND I am likely to have time to do it again before Australia should I need to.
I know everyone has confidence issues with their driving. But I don’t feel confident because I still can’t do some of my manouvers. I literally, at this moment in time, can’t get the car bang in the middle of the two white lines when reversing into a parking bay. I’m always far close to one or the other edge. It’s not that I think I can’t do somethings, I KNOW I still can’t do somethings. Anyways… that’s taken a bit of pressure off his whole moving it to another date that’s closer than the 24th of July but still gives me another 2 weeks.
Today I realised something. I finally understand why I’m feeling so stressed at the moment. It’s because alot of stuff is up in the air. You’d think that would be SO obvious to me. But it wasn’t. I realised today that I need to make decisions. And today, thankfully, I feel like God has brought me to a day where decisions can be made. Simply because as of today I now have the information I didn’t have before. What a relief! I now know what I’m doing in between Teenstreet and MTO. I now know if and when I’m going down to Birmingham and Leicester to say goodbye to some of my closest friends.
I also know I have to make some sacrifices in some places, and I feel ok about that… it’s the not knowing which sacfricies need to be made and all the stumbling blindly forward that’s been hard. Like for example, Laura wants to go away with me before I leave for Australia. And I keep saying to her, “Well, until I’ve done my driving test I won’t know whether or not I’m coming back to England between Teenstreet and MTO, and if I am coming back then we need to go something in England and not Europe, but if I don’t come back to England and we do something in Europe then we ned to think where we’re going and how much money we need etc”… Since there’s many things at the moment that are like this it’s been hard. But like I said, I know so much more now and can start putting it all into a plan 🙂 God is good and prayer works!
Cool stuff from today: Drove around for 2 hours. Reservsing around corners and 3 point turn is good. Was invited to ARC for a missions focused service in August and think I’m speaking. Eak!!! Have no idea if it’s a short 3 minute thing or a bit longer or what… actually when I asked Pastor Peter he said I was singing!! ARGHHHHH! Forget THAT! But that’s quite exciting and a privledge! And don’t worry I’ll get God to give me happy, inspiring and motivating words rather than this ol’ mumble jumble on my blog these days 😛 I managed to write another letter… better than nothing. I’m suppose to be writing hand written letters to people at the moment. It’s getting there! Not too many more to do I don’t think. My room is still being packed down…oops. I think I moved one item today. Honestly, it’s like one of those army assult course things in my room! 😛 Jump here, dive there… You know I kinda have to throw myself onto the bed and roll side ways to miss boxes when I’m trying to walk down the length of the room hahahah. It doesn’t work when the cat is lying on my bed. Better than nothing right?
Now… last year, the world was asked to participate in making a film. A film about life in a day on Earth. Thousands of people submitted thousands of hours of footage from over 190 countries. This has been edited and made into a movie. A movie filmed by US, by YOU… Here’s the trailor. The movie comes out this year. I think it looks pretty good!
Time to update you all again…I actually have quite a bit to share but lets start with my mock driving test.
Surprisingly, I was actually nervous. I didn’t think I would be but I was. It started off pretty good… as these things usually do… but then I did some massively stupid things and managed to get quite a few majors. All of them I thought to myself “Akila, all those mistakes were not worth the fail. If you’re going to fail then at least get a major in something massive. NOT for parking too far away from the kerb towards the end of your test!”
I was really glad I did the test… as I should be feeling pleased that all my mistakes are very easily correctable. But with so many majors I’m like “shit, this is so not gonna happen.” As in, pass my test. Sure I need to just keep practicing. And sure I gotta be pleased with what I can do well, which according to the instructor is independent driving, driving off from being parked and some other stuff that I can’t remember. But “majors, majors, majors you’re going to fail” is floating around my brain right now. Incase you’re wondering, I’m allowed 15 minors and NO majors.
This afternoon I’ve been wondering to myself, why am I even doing this? I don’t even like driving and when I’m in Australia I wont even have a car. So why why why am I putting all this pressure on myself? I’m not really sure what to think right now. If I say “Screw it, if I pass I pass and if I don’t then oh well never mind” then that might work cos without the pressure I might do better… but that could backfire and I’d do even worse because I “won’t care“. *Sighs*… I really need everyone to pray. I don’t wanna pass if I’m not yet a safe driver. But I do wanna be a safe enough driver to pass my test so I can just get my license and then never ever drive again haha. No seriously, I wanna be a safe driver and pass my test.
I’m fast losing motivation at the moment with stuff, not just driving, a few things. And these things are just such hard work… and I know that’s life and I should just suck it up… I’m just feeling a little like “everything is such a massive effort and for what?” Right now the end results just don’t seem to be worth it. But at the same time I also know God has the potential to make the end results of all these things so much more than what we ever thought. And so we all just gotta keep pushing forward right?
I’ve learnt something about myself though. I hate it when things become my life. If I’m eating, sleeping, breathing one core topic then I lack energy to concentrate on other things. Like if I being consumed by university work, or driving, or a key relationship… I think I’m all or nothing and if I’m all then nothing else has as much drive behind it. Like now… my brain cells are literally being used up on driving, even when I sleep I dream about driving, and even though I have so much Australia related stuff to do I just cannot find the energy to work on that after driving for 2 hours and thinking about it for 7 hours. Maybe I need to mediate… that’s about clearing the mind right? Well we all know how that’s going to go… I’ll end up eating something hahahahahah.
Ok, onto other more exciting stuff… I start my work placement on Wednesday, I had a friend come visit this weekend, and funny enough, she’s moving to Australia the same time I am. I’ve known her for 18 years and we’ve been pretty close through out this time. In fact she’s pretty much apart of the family haha. And what are the chances, she’s going to Sydney and I’m going to Brisbane. Close enough to see each other with needing to sell our body parts for cash like that dude selling his kidney for an Ipad… having said that I wonder how much I could get for my appendix? They’re a bit useless anyways right? 😛
I’ve forgotten what else I was gonna say… hmmm… oh no I remember! I spoke to the assistant pastor and his wife yesterday and they were telling me about my room being ready for me when I get there! Eak, exciting! 😀 Ok, well as part of my just cracking on and pushing forward I’m gonna finish off packing up my room. With Friends in the background… surprise surprise! 😛
I have some REALLY exciting news to share with you. As you may already know, at the end of August I am moving to Brisbane (Australia) to work with my church, “River of Life“, for a year. Since this job will be unpaid and voluntary I’ve been trying to find ways to raise finances before I go. However, that’s been quite a mission since God hasn’t answered my prayer for a job in England in the meantime.
So, why did I chose to go even though I don’t have a job to fund this? I know… what a crazy decision and who does that?! Well, 8 months ago I was in Australia and I really felt God was leading me to come back and work with my church there. Since then challenging circumstances have come up but in the midst of it I still felt God leading me to return. So, I decided to take the leap of faith and go with it.
With what savings I did have I spent on buying plane tickets and insurance for the year. Consequently my bank balance pretty much hit “zero“. Without a job I’ve been challenged to trust God for the rest of the finances. So far there have been two key “fund raising projects“. One being the sale of many of my personal possessions and the second being the partnering with others financially and spiritually. Whilst there has been an increase in my “Australia Fund” as a result of these two projects, I still need to raise quite a bit more financially.
God’s faithful. As of yesterday, here’s my third project that I would LOVE for you to get involved in. A very kind couple from church have given me a five-star holiday in one of their five-star holiday cottages to auction. This auction provides you with an incredibly lovely way to support my work in Australia and have an awesome holiday….
Garth cottage is self catered and located in Castle Carrock (Cumbria). Since it’s located in the Lake District it has THE most amazing views of Carlisle, Scotland, the Solway Firth. The sunsets are INCREDIBLE also. The cottage sleeps up to four people in two bedrooms, one double and one twin. It has free wifi and free access to a luxury gym/pool in a nearby village. The owners do lots of lovely lovely touches for their guests and really make these holiday absolutely unforgettable. There are lots of things to do outside such as awesome walks up on the fells, the resvoir at the foot of the hill or a nearby tarn. The scenery and wildlife is just awesome. Quite a few cute villages within walking distance and Carlisle and Scotland are a short drive away. Castle Carrock itself is a mile walk with an excellent restaurant/pub is you want to eat out close by.
What is being auctioned – A holiday at Garth Cottage (worth £385).
STARTING BID IS £50!!!!!!!
YOU CHOSE the dates (subject to avalablity); and whether you would like to go for 3 nights or 4 nights (Friday-Monday OR Monday-Friday).
Auction Ends – 11.59pm Saturday 9th of July 2011. The highest bidder shall be contacted the next day.
To bid – Please contact either myself, mum or dad with your bid. You can do this via email or Facebook message. If you do not have these details please contact me via this blog.
Additional information – For all the information you could possibly need regarding the cottage itself including availability please check out the website http://www.tottergill.co.uk/cottages/garth-cottage.
PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH US RATHER THAN THE OWNERS IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS! 😀
Long awaited update! I know! I’m sorry! Things are a little crazy at the moment… which is great but busy too haha. Okies here we go…
Monday – I had a doctor’s appointment about my hair. Thankfully she took me seriously. For the past 5 months it’s been falling out very badly and so she booked me in to get blood tests. I can’t really remember too much of Monday… I know I started packing down my room also. Oh I remember! I went for a meeting regarding my new work placement. I’ll be working with a benefits consultant for 6 weeks. Pretty excited as he’s super specialised, does court cases all over the country and does a lot with and for the House of Lords! So cool!
Tuesday – I had a driving lesson. Driving is going GREAT! Thank you thank you thank you sooooooooooo much for your prayers! PLEASE keep them up! There has been a massive improvement in my driving and my driving instructor went from telling me I wasn’t ready to be mock tested to telling me he feels I’m ready in a matter of a week! YES! What an encouragement!
Wednesday – We went over to Newcastle for the day since we had to pic up dad late afternoon. I was able to drive all the way there and back. Approx 120 miles, 2 hours 30 min of driving, varied speeds from 20mph – 70 mph (32km – 113km), roundabouts, varied road types… not bad not bad! Plus I didn’t crash! YEY!
Thursday – Had my blood tests, spent the afternoon with Laura, and went out for driver with mum/dad and family friends.
Friday (today) – Had a major lazy day. Watched two movies before 2pm. Oops. Mike Hey is with us at the moment and tomorrow Leah comes over for the evening. YEY! Sooooo excited!
It doesn’t sound busy does it? But in between these random events I’ve either been up in the loft, packing up my room, writing letters, sorting random stuff out… It’s so crazy, I get into bed each night and think “Crap!!!!! I didn’t do x, y,z!!” 😦 I have a longgggg list of things I’m slowly working my way through. Hopefully I’ll get there sooner than later! 😛
Australia news. Well, my room is already set up in Australia apparently haha. EXCITED! I’m skyping with the assistant pastor in a few days so hopefully I’ll have more crack to share with you all 🙂 Fund raising is going really great. SO encouraged by the support of others. I’m feeling a little guilty because I have about 60 letters I’m trying to hand write and send in the post… I’ve done about half of them but still have quite a few to do. Some of them are thank yous and they’re taking a little longer than planned. I think tomorrow I’ll just get on and do the rest of them… Leah will just have to sleep in amongst the mess in my room 😛 But for the latest exciting news I’ll write a separate post.
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There’s always some reason to feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight…
Oh my word yesterday was drama filled. The normal part of my day involved packing up my room and making room in the loft. I hit my head on the way up the ladder but didn’t do any more damage… yes! The rest of my day however…
So, drama one, a book of mine got sold on Amazon, I got £2 something for it and postage cost me £3 something. What a joke. I effectively paid the person to take this book from me. Drama two, I ended up illegally driving on the motorway. Oops. Mum gave the worst directions and even though I was clear in my mind what I need to do her freaking out totally confused me. I didn’t mind… I thought it was pretty funny. However I have no idea what the consequences would have been had the police caught me. Let me play out the scene for you… Remember watching “Transformers” ? The first one? And remember the scene between Glen and Maggie in the police station and the conversation goes like this…
Glen: Okay, Maggie, look. Let me break it down to you, how it’s gonna happen. They gonna come through that door, they’re gonna play good cop, bad cop. Don’t fall for that, alright?
[Maggie rubs her head]
Glen: That’s why I ate their food. See, they put the plate of donuts out here to test your guilt. If you don’t touch it, you’re guilty!
[exhibits empty plate]
Glen: I ate the whole plate. The WHOLE plate. So, me and you: they walk through that door, you don’t say nothing.
[Agents enter the room, and Glen is calm up to the point an agent places his briefcase on the table… ]
Glen: [pointing to Maggie] It was her! She did it! She did it! She’s the one you want!
Glen: Don’t talk to me! Don’t talk to me criminal!
Glen: Woah, sugar rush.
I’m Glen, mum’s Maggie… and if the cops come, that’s EXACTLY how the situation is gonna play out. But in my mind for some reason I look like Justin Lowe… Really very random!
Drama three, I was treated to a trip to the cinema to watch “Pirates of the Caribbean 4“. That wasn’t the drama, but when Laura and I passed the shopping mall on our way the whole place had alarms going off and a very loud automated messaged telling everyone to evacuate the building. Since there was no one turning it off we wondered whether it was a real fire somewhere and therefore decided to “do the right thing” and call 999. So we did and apparently the fire service was already there. So we weren’t total losers after all 😛 I’ve been working before when the alarms went off in the shopping mall but actually I’ve never seen all the alarms flashing in every shop before… and with it being after hours and no one around it was kinda spooky.
Drama four… Laura refused to by me Skittles when we were at the cinema. BUT, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 is worth the watch. It was pretty funny. Not as good as the first but loads better than the second or third. Laura fell in love with the missionary in the movie and both she and I have decided we wanna be mermaids. We’ve decided they’re cool. Soul drowning aside. But since there was a bit of uncertainty as to whether the missionary, Phillip, survives when Syrena pulls him into the water… I did some research on the movie and here’s what my Facebook conversation looked like between Louisa, Tessa and myself…
Akila: The missionary is alive! Syrena kissed him, and a mermaid’s kiss prevents anyone from drowning. She pulled him under to heal him. Unlike all the others who tempted sailors to “kiss them” but never actually did… He DID kissed her which is the key!! Woop woop!! He’s alive!!! 😛
Tessa: Did you look this up? 😛
Akila: I did!!! It was torturing me not knowing!!!
Tessa: Haha I see.. So what happens when they stop kissing? Because they went underwater..
Akila: Hahahahaha it doesn’t matter, the single kiss prevents him from drowning… so I guess he’s a merman now 😛 Or maybe he only needed to be underwater long enough for the waters to heal him, then she dumped him on dry land… or and then they had babies 😛 And they names one Ariel 😛 LOL
Tessa: Hahahaa getting a bit carried away are we? 😛 How do mermaids give birth anyways? Do they lay eggs?
Akila: Nooooo silly…they go on shore and be humans! 😛 😛 😛
Tessa: Yes but what if there is no shore?
Akila: They have 9 months to swim to one! sort of like when they reach the 3rd trimester like we cant fly… they cant go swimming in the deep blue!! maybe the shallow, close to the shore… but not the deep end! XD
Tessa: Haha so at the start of the 9 months do they have to be human as well?
Akila: Hmmm good point… yes, Laura says they have to do it the human way… passionately!!! XD Laura’s actually in love with the missionary hahahahaha he was “physically fit” according to her bbbhahahaha
Tessa: Hahahaha wow, go get him Laura! 😉 (Have fun battling a mermaid :P)
Louisa: YAYYY!!!! haahaa 🙂
Akila: Oooooh yea, Laura’s gonna have to fight the mermaid first…didnt think about that. could be quite entertaining to watch! 😛
Tessa: Someone should film it.
Akila: Pirates of the Caribbean 5 😛
Let’s be honest… Pirates of the Caribbean is all about Jack Sparrow. Sorry… “CAPTAIN” Jack Sparrow (Pete Q!) Jonny Depp Really made that character what it is and he’s a genius for it! Today has been a lot less eventful. Thank goodness! It’s been about packing up and packing down… my room and loft. It’s already past 8pm so I guess the rest of the evening is going to be prepping for tomorrow. Lots of running around tomorrow. *Sighs* It’s all good though. Prayer requests… money, practice driving and my doctor’s appointment either tomorrow or Tuesday for my hair. Pray they take me seriously! I’m taking my hair that’s fallen out in a bag haha… it’s pretty rank how much there is 😦 God is good though. Just gotta keep praying 🙂