Step Into My World…

Archive for April 27, 2010



I wote “Dear” in the title cos I didn’t know what else to write haha!!! I’ve been wondering today about my family line. I wonder who is in it? It’s funny right because when you see lists and lists and lists of names we usually think “Oh my gosh get on with it who cares?!” Right? I do… but in reverse I always wish I knew who was in my family line. Who are my ancestors? Who am I related to? What are their stories? When crap hits the fan the family usually suddenly pile out the woodwork right? They all wanna support and help… actually they seem to crawl out the woodwork when someone dies and there’s a massive amount of money as well haha… but that’s off the subject I wanna talk about. Family is so important to me… and I guess I’ve been seriously blessed to have a pretty decent family (my dad eads my blogs by the way ‘hi daddy!! i love you really!!). Like I was reading the beginning of Matthew last night and it was name after name… which usually bothers me… but understanding who I am, where I come from… it was inspiring to see that Jesus’ family line involved kings, nobody’s, murders, satanic worshipers, people who lived for adultery… Jeez, actually made me feel good about myself?! And then there was Jesus.  Really does go to show God’s plans can’t be rocked. The Saviour still came in spite of those losers! (Just kidding!…kinda) In my life… well… it’s encouraging for me to think “yea, just put one foot in front of the other and God does all the work anyways!” If only it felt like that at the time right?!

Here’s the other thing… and I’m about to lecture now haha… Joseph. He was a nobody. As far as my theology goes He didn’t really even know God. When the angel came to him and said “Hey, Mary really is having a kid from God“… Joseph didn’t doubt it. I mean COMMON! Seriously?! I’m sure the majority of us would have been like “no flippen way…definately a dream“. So why is it right… that Joseph can have faith… but we can’t? How many times is god gonna have to speak to you? Reveal things to you? What will it take for you to realise “denial” is an excuse? “Rational” is in fact a lie? What does God have to do to shake you awake? Hasn’t he already done it? “it’s not enough” you tell me… who made you worthy of judging how god speaks to you? Trust me I HAVE been there… even recently ive been feeling like “god, I demand you show me why you killed off my brother! if I’m gonna hurt you better show up and give me a hug!” Yea I agree, I’m totally within my rights to say all that… but am I? Cos, God has already done a lot to help me. And I think he’s already done a lot to help you or show you whatever it is you need… You know when it is that everything becomes clear? When you start accepting. Trust is fragile and God honestly doesn’t mind if he needs to build your trust. He will. But how you respond will be how God responds back. ok ok so you tried waiting on him… then keep waiting. it’s hard and its painful but if I can go through everything I’ve been through… which I know is microscopic compared to so many others out there but based on what I have been through… if I can go through it… and trust God IN SPITE of all the times nothing made sense, then you have no reason to not hold on for God.

ps… just so you all know I was actually lecturing myself and reminding myself of somethings haha. A bit like when you talk to yourself in the mirror or in the shower… I figured a blog would be less embarrassing?! 😛