Step Into My World…

Archive for April 13, 2010

One of My Secret Loves


I just realised I have a secret love… but firstly I gotta tell you the lead up story!… but before I do that, I just gotta say, I think a fly flew down my ear. The one thing I hate about summer are the mosquitos and bees…and wasps…ok that was three things. Ok, so today I lean forward and put some weight on my left arm and suddenly gasped in pain…my sister looked at me really weirdly. Seriously, it was a gasp, totally took my breath away. The pain was right in that joint where your arm meets your shoulder.

Then I forgot about it, and I did it again, this time worse… so much so that the gasp almost left me speechless…. this time Laura told me to take a paracetamol…. so here’s where my secret love comes in! MEDICINE!! no….not paracetamol. I’m actually really good with medication… I avoid it!!!! unless I really have to take it. I’m scared of my liver…or kidneys… I gotta save what the alcohol hasn’t killed. But I LOVE my cough mixtures and ointments… especially tiger balm, aromatherapy (both of which are not medicine, however, that could be just a matter of opinion) and this funky “electric chinese medicine”…

I cant read it… it’s in chinese… but it works like a heat ointment on the muscle. it feels more cold than hot actually… i like the way they smell… actually, i got a bit happy once when i drank a bottle of cough mixture once too haha. i didnt mean too! my chest hurt! …. i like sniffing my arm…. this chinese stuff clears my sinuses!!

The Abuse Post


I got a asked today about my “Abuse” post… and the question was really “What’s the story behind it”… so here’s my answer.

Well, firstly, I took the photo after a university lecture end of last year. Just a simple camera set up in my room. Simple camera… anyone can relate; bedroom = closed doors. The writing are words of abuse written on my hand that’s hiding my face. why?
black permanent marker = poison. Abuse can seriously affect people and for many, whatever they do, they cant escape their past or circumstances. No matter how hard they try. hence the reason for big bold writing. I wrote it on my hand because, i don’t know about you, but i hate touching gross things, my hand never feels clean afterwards. whatever i touched feels like it’s been imbedded in the skin of my hand… same with abuse. many victims feel disgusted, grossed, wronged, impure, dirty, captive… everything that is the opposite of free… no matter how hard they try to escape or “wash their hands” they cant get rid of it.
Why’s it hiding my face? Abuse is silent, abuse strips you of dignity, worth, your identity. You’re nothing, no one. But there’s another angle that i thought. go back to the dirty hands thing. what victims forget is they have power. They do have the power to move on. they do have the power to rise up. do they? no. why…good question… i don’t have a simple answer. people forget that they can wash their hands. painful. may take a lot of washing. but they can be free. the impure hand not only becomes your identity… but it makes you blind. this concept is similar to addiction.
in terms of the words… after taking the photo and putting it up i wish i used the phrase stand up against abuse. why? well, its interesting your title is “loud mouth”. when i read that i thought of people who abuse the subject of abuse and cry wolf. they walk around pretending they’re suffering or have suffered but really it’s attention. which in itself is an outward expression of a deeper emotion. so really… people need to stand up against it rather than speak out cos who do you trust? it’s just words. empty words with no meaning. victims need to see positive actions that lead to positive change in their lives…