Step Into My World…

I can’t remember…


It’s been 19 weeks and 6 days, or, 4 months 2 weeks and 2 days since Mike died. It’s been an additional 3 weeks since I last saw my brother, the 11th or 12th of July.

What makes me really sad is, I can’t for the life of me remember when the last time I saw him was, what we did, what was said? I left to go back to the ship on the 12th of July, but I don’t think I said goodbye to Mike because he was at work… but I don’t know…

I think all this time the overall sadness and pain of Mike’s death, in all it’s dynamics, was fuelled with “I can’t believe Mike’s dead”… But last night I realised “Mike’s not coming back”… I know I’m entering another part of the grieving process and it’s all normal… but it doesn’t feel that way. I wish I could remember my last moments with Mike…


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