Ok, so I’ve been trying to develop my understanding and commitment towards prayer and talking to God. I was reading in my devotional book that prayer and talking to God is like the “Chaos Theory”. Where a butterfly can flap its wings in one part of the world…and cause a hurricane in another part of the world as a result.
Now, my book and I arent sure if that’s scientifically possible…scary because every time I pick my nose I could be causing an earth quake somewhere?! Ha…that’s one way to tell your kids not to pick their noses I guess. But in relation to prayer and praying in faith, thats what my devotional book was trying to say. That a small butterfly effect of a prayer, CAN cause psycho things to happen that are not humanistically possible…it’s all biblical!
So, I’m not sure if I really can say whole heartedly that I pray in faith. Sometimes I think I’m too caught up in what God’s will is and what my “bold requests” are. I thought about when Mike died and I told God…I didn’t ask, stuff that! If God was taking my brother I’m going to stamp my feet and make my demands known!….”If you’re gonna take my brother, who means so much to me, you better make it his death worth it here on Earth. I want his death to impact lives and bring people into a relationship with you. Otherwise, you better give me my brother back.”
I guess you could say “um, who are you to say that to God?!”, others could say “Well you could boldly ask that of God because something like that would be in accordance to his will.” I’ve been thinking to myself, “What made it different that time, and other times I find it so hard to ‘move moutains'”…the only thing I could think of was “emotion”. When I asked God to make Mike’s death worth it, I really really meant it.
I decided to practice and asked God for a break through in my life in a certain area that needed it. I specifically asked him for what I wanted, and when I wanted it (the next day). Less than 12 hours later, I got my break through! So, I made a somewhat blind request (because I wasn’t really sure how to ask) and I got my result. Thank you Jesus! But I’m still learning the process because I’m still not 100% sure I know or understand what I’m doing! I just did what I thought was right and trusted God to show me the rest…
The learning still continues…