Step Into My World…

Archive for October 19, 2009

Letter to Mike

Hey Mike!

Man, I miss you like crazy you little rat-bag! Last time I wrote you a little message I was super sad, I still am, I still think about you all the time, but I’m also kinda excited.

In my last message to you, I told you how proud I was of you. Mike, God has still been using your death in such big ways. It’s so exciting to see. I don’t know if you can see all that is going on from where you are, but, we’ve decided to create a trust fund in memory of you. You may not lived out your dreams and passions here on Earth, but we want to sow your visions and desires into the lives of others like you, so that they can reap the harvest we would have seen you reap.

Haha, I miss you Mike, all the times I didn’t have a clue how to use my computer, you were the only other person with “vista” and you could show me all the ropes. Now I have to try and work it out on my own…I’m getting better at it! Mike, we’re in the middle of creating a website for your trust, and man, I’ve been working hard at it!!! I haven’t a clue about websites and so this has been a little challenge! Laura has been helping too, but you can be proud of me for a moment!! Haha.

Mike, whilst I’ve been creating this trust there has been that little part of me that thought “F the trust I’d rather have you back!” Today we got some really exciting news. there’s some one who use to work with Simon Cowell and helped to developed the Spice Girls, has given us his electric guitar to auction to raise money for the trust!!! Mike, God is so unbelievably gracious. I don’t think he minds me being human and being selfish and wanting you back. I think he’s bigger than that…but what I’m yet again humbled at is not only does he understand and gracious enough to forgive my selfish attitude, but he cares enough to orchestrate things and situations to make your death worth it. Like today, with this person. Mike that was my prayer all along, that God would use your death in powerful ways. You were worth a lot to me so I will boldly stamp my feet and demand God to Shine His Glory. I am ok with you being gone, because I know god is going to use your death powerfully, and he faithfully has been.

I came across this today, “The cry of the human soul is never unheard. It is never that God does not hear the cry, but that man fails to hear the response.” Inspired by Psalm 6 vs 9… “The lord has heard my plea, he will answer my prayer.”

I found it encouraging and challenging for a number of reasons…thank you God, you really are amazing.

Mike, I miss you, and I still cry so much for you all the time. You have by far won the “guy to make me cry the most” contest! Haha. Can’t wait to see you, and when I do, I am gonna jump on you and give you the biggest hug! You better still be taller than me! Thanks for being a great brother.

I’ve also been thinking about how you gave me your approval on Fitzy. Maybe I would never of know otherwise if you didn’t, but because you did, I’m so glad, because now looking at the situation, I would of hated not knowing if I had your approval. At the end of the day, you have been my protector whether you realised it or not, my one and only “big” brother. So I’m glad you met Fitzy and got to know him well enough to give him approval, you never did like any of the other ones did you 🙂 it means so much to me Mike. Thank you.

Not sure if you “rest” in Heaven, but it is night time here, so sweet dreams. Love you.

Akila xx

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“Lifesong”

Hey Hey!!

Happy Feet and Casting Crowns have invaded my mind alot recently! I’ve been thinking alot about my “Lifesong”, particularly “…may the words I say, and the things I do, make my lifesong sing, bring a smile to you…”

If I asked you what the world’s greatest weapon was, what would you say? I’d say Sex. But you know what I think the world’s greatest secret weapon, one that doesn’t get talked about nearly as much as sex does…Grace. Man, after playing those words to that Casting Crowns song over and over in my mind for the last week or so, with the faithful images of Happy Feet tap dancing across my brain…I have realised more than ever, the power of Grace and within that, Mercy, Kindness and Generosity. What a difference it makes me feel when a random stranger smiles at me, when a friend acknowledges me, when my family forgive me, when a loved one blesses me…what a difference it makes to be hugged, kissed, to hear kind and loving words, to see a kind a thoughtful action…it suprises me alot to hear people complain about this world, when honestly, start practicing a little more Grace in your life and really think about the things you do or say, and the power of change lies with you. And what if they don’t deserve it? Well isn’t that what Grace is? There’s a fine line between reality and candy floss land, but Grace should never be compromised in your life. My challenge to you is have a think about your “Lifesong” and start/continue developing Grace in your life…Trust me, it’ll be worth it!

“Smile and the whole world will smile back.” Laura Knight.